Silver Back Muzik

Is marriage really important in today's society, and should we all be looking for that ideal mate? I would argue that being married is not something which suits everyone. For instance some couples have lived together for years without tying the knot so to speak; and are considered in the eyes of the law to have similar rights as those who are married. In situations such as this it may be argued that to all intents and purposes these couples are already married; and need only a simple ceremony for the union to be recognised by the church as living in Holy Matrimony. The very words might cause fear and trepidation in the hearts of the timid and faint hearted. Sharing your life, all of your possessions and promising to honour and obey another person forever, is to say the least a huge commitment. Nevertheless 59% of the population have already made this firm commitment to love, honour and obey till death do us part. On the otherhand one might argue that if you've lived with someone for a long time, there should be no need to actually take vows in which you agree to be their spouse for all time.

There are various reasons why a couple may not be married and this includes the view that one of the parties has commitment issues. It could also be that there are financial constraints or simply that the couple have never gotten around to it. Being in a committed relationship is for most people the ideal whether it be a marriage or live in lover. My understanding of the role of a husband, and I include the live in lover in this definition is that he protects his wife and has some insight into his wife's needs. A husband provides financial and emotional assistance to his wife and should put her wishes and desires above his own. In an ideal world a husband is a friend, lover and trustworthy companion. Thus an ideal mate would complement his partner and life together should prove enjoyable and happy.

So why marry, you already live with the person in a committed relationship, so what if any are the benefits of making the live in situation legal? I suppose we should consider the implications of getting married. Marriage is a covenant, a promise between yourself, partner and God. It is a promise that you will love, honour and obey God's rules for living in a righteous manner. It is an agreement that despite your circumstances you will, whether in sickness or health, ensure the welfare of your partner and put them first in all things. Essentially once you marry you are no longer two separate individuals, but have become one flesh. As such the biblical view that 'iron sharpens iron is ideal'. It means that you put each other first, and it's not what you do for me that matters(and I will reciprocate on the basis of what you have done for me) It is simply that I am you and you are me. As such if I do not ensure that your needs, wants and wishes are met then mine cannot be.

I wholeheartedly agree that being in a committed relationship is better than being on your own, as we learn from the Holy Bible, two is better than one, for if one stumbles the other will pick him up. Arguably living in harmony with a partner, whether or not you have taken marriage vows is what really matters. This then begs the question what is marriage? A definition is that it is the legal union between two people, recognised in law as having certain rights. Exponents of the bible would further argue that the union should be between people of the opposite sex, and that there should be no divorce. Essentially the marriage contract is forever.

Interestingly enough I note that Obama openly supports same sex marriages. There are differing schools of thought on the matter as there are those who argue it might change public opinion about his re-election to the presidency; while others who support same sex marriages believe it may ensure his re-election as President of the USA. In my opinion same sex marriages are not in keeping with the marriage covenant as laid down in the bible. Additionally scripture describes the union (sexual) between two persons of the same sex as an abomination.

How then do we reconcile biblical ideals with current political ideologies? Can they be balanced to accommodate all within society, or should we accept that the words inherent in the bible, which were handed down by the prophets as the right and moral way to live. The rationale presumably is that we should not encourage same sex marriages, but we should not condemn those who love and wish to live together. These ideas are certainly thought provoking, and I wonder if simply posed to accommodate all with contemporary society.

Based on previous relationships I would argue that living with someone has benefits and advantages compared to living alone. It means you have company in the home and someone to go out with, if your husband is the socialising type and in addition if the communication which takes place between the two of you is interesting, stimulating and fun you should on the whole be in a valuable and enlightened relationship.

The advantage of living alone is that you can please yourself about what you do to a large extent. You eat what you feel like without having to take into consideration another person's views and tastes. You cook if you feel like, you watch what you want on television, listen to whatever music you like and essentially please yourself in the home. While I'm not in the market or looking for a husband I'd much prefer to share my life with someone rather than live a solitary existence. If memory serves there's a feel good factor to going home and finding some you love waiting for you.

From this brief discussion its apparent that I believe in commitment, but am reluctant to go 'shopping' for a husband. Being in a loving, caring mutually respectful relationship has many joys and positive aspects, thus one wonders why someone would withdraw them from this? It could be that you have already met someone who you wish to form a relationship with and are no longer available. Alternatively you could be commitment shy and happy enough to just have friends without becoming too involved. Finally it could be that you believe you're past your 'sell by date'. I believe I fall into the latter category, as I feel that I'm too old to change my ways. I say that because I believe that for a good marriage to work it takes a lot of compromise and a willingness to give way to your partner's wishes, desires and needs. When you take your wedding vows you promise to stay with the person in sickness and in health, till death do we part. I sincerely believe that marriage should not be entered into lightly. I don't believe in divorce so for me it's a lifetime commitment; for better or for worst. I guess it's a good thing that I'm unwilling to take on this huge commitment.