Silver Back Muzik

Fear. Fear of failing. Fear of losing. Fear of being wrong. Fear of change. Fear is one obstacle that everyone encounters. You can see it coming toward you, or it can sneak up on you when you least expect it. It can slow you down, distract you, or stop you in your tracks. It can even cause you to run in the opposite direction. You can find yourself thinking "I would do thus and such - if only I wasn't afraid." Fear, if left to its own devices, can become all consuming.

Great, you're thinking. Now what? I admit it. I'm afraid. How do I stop? The truth is what you want to stop is being held back, impeded by your fear. It doesn't really matter if you feel fear, as long as you know how to manage it.

So what can you do, when you're afraid?

1. Step one is to admit it. Stop fighting it. Fighting it can make it stronger. Acknowledgement doesn't mean give in to it either. Just recognize you are afraid. Simply say, I am afraid.

2. Next, name your fears. Take a sheet of paper, and title it "Fears." Now, list your fears by name. Be specific. Give yourself time for this task. Write, "I am afraid that... " Take your time. Be gentle with yourself as you name your fears. Curl up with your dog, sip a cup of herbal tea, listen to music that soothes you. And name your fears. All ofthem. When you finish - standup, stretch, and take a few deep breaths.

3. Now, look at your list of fears. For each one, I want you to make a note, has this come to pass? Has this fear come true? Has it already happened in your life? A simple yes or no will suffice here. If the answer is yes, then that is no longer a fear, but a challenge for you to address. So take a separate sheet of paper, and title that "Challenges", and copy this fear there, so you can address it later.

4. Take a blank sheet of paper, and title it "Opposites." For each fear that remains, those that have not yet come to pass, I want you to write down the opposite of the fear. And when you write that opposite, write it in the present tense, e.g. I have, I am, I do.
For example:

Fear: "All my efforts will fail, I won't accomplish anything significant in my life."

Opposite: "All my efforts paid off in the end. I achieved great success and accomplished significant goals in my life and in the world."

Fear: "I will never get my book published."

Opposite: "I am a prolific writer and published author. I am a best-selling author."

5. Next, take another blank sheet of paper, and title it "Opportunities." Look in each Opposite for at least one Opportunity for you. You may find several Opportunities in a single Opposite. Great! Write them all down.
For example:

Opposite: "All my efforts paid off in the end. I achieved great success and accomplished significant goals in my life and in the world."

Opportunities: "I can check out some volunteer organizations and go give some time to something that resonates for me. I can review my business goals and make sure my values are reflected in those. I can find a life coach or mentor to help me make sure I stay on track."

Opposite: "I am a prolific writer and published author. I am a best-selling author."

Opportunities: "I can write another draft of my latest story. I can go find a critique group to get some constructive feedback on my latest novel. I can send out more letters to possible agents."

6. Look for one action you can take for each Opportunity. Write down the next tiny action you can take in the next 24 hours for each one.

7. Pick an action and commit to it today. Just one.

Now you have worked through your fears to get you to place of taking action. Taking action is the key to achieving your goals. It is also the key to managing or overcoming your fears. And the next time you feel afraid, use this process to manage it.